I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
