Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
