don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im holly from the hills drunk
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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