who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
