these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just blew my weed a kiss
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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