Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So drunk its hurt
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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