hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
