Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
