she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
