1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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