We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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