I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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