She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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