Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
