Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
