Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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