i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
