Got a toothbrush?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
