Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
