it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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