is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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