why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
