is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
