I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
