I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
