This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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