This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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