im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
