When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
