mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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