shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
