I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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