no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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