I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I smell like Dick and happiness
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
