if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
