i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
