my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
