apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
