too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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