Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
