giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
they're like a gay fantastic four
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
