did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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