Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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