I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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