why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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