lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
