My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
