Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
