I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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