Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
